


To Lie To Yourself

by pasteladins



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Angst, Anna Is Mentioned, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Reader-Insert, Tumblr Prompt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasteladins/pseuds/pasteladins
Summary: Would it be considered a lie if Alfonse hid something this important from you?





	To Lie To Yourself

A chilling autumn breeze made you shiver, and you pulled your cowl forward to protect yourself against the colder weather. There were leaves spilled all over the path you walked, and the sound of your boots crunching on said leaves made for a peaceful atmosphere.

Adjacent to you was Alfonse, his cape flowing gently as it was carried by the wind, and his movements were almost in perfect rhythm to yours. A small smile tugged at his lips as the Askran prince basked in your presence.

“Alfonse! Alfonse! Guess what?”

“Hm?” He tilted his head, clearly amused by your childlike enthusiasm. “What is it, Kiran?”

“I found these cute little bracelets at the market the other day.” You pulled out the two accessories, and the prince noted the matching color schemes the two had, along with a shining little medal attached -- both medals had the symbol of the Order of Heroes.

You fiddled with one of the bracelets, eyeing the prince as you spoke. “I was able to get the medals engraved as well. I know it seems tacky, but…” You look away. “...I just wanted to show you how glad I am to be your friend.”

Alfonse stopped in his tracks. “Oh my…” His hushed voice made your almost instantly regret your decision, but your fears were washed away as you spotted his familiar smile. “They are wonderful, Kiran. I will wear it and treasure it always.

Upon hearing this, you leaned in closer to the prince. You took the bracelet and tied it around his wrist, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment as he gazed at it.

“You gift truly means the world to me. Thank you.” He spoke again, his eyes so earnest and dazzling that you almost forgot to answer.

“Ah! W-Well It makes me happy that you like it!” The two of you laugh as the autumn breeze tickle your necks.

For a while, the blue haired royal was smitten by you. His previous beliefs of staying away from bonds and attachments completely failed, and with each passing day, the prince’s feelings only grew. He trusted you wholeheartedly and decided that it was finally time to reject his previous values and begin to open his heart -- to you.

Still, his doubts festered in his mind, acting as a barrier to his feelings. It was like a tiny, pestering voice that sung little mocking taunts and questions.

_You will be rejected._

_They could never love someone like you._

_The other heroes hold much more prestige than someone like you._

Alfonse had unfortunately believed in the voice and made the painful decision to shut you out as well. Despite his cynical promise, the prince could not find himself to be away from you. Your presence put him at ease, the tightness in his chest disappearing at the mere sight or ring of your voice. This was the closest he would get to you, and that was alright with him. At least, that is what he told himself.

He couldn’t help but admire your mysterious cloaked figure as you playfully kicked some of the leaves beneath you. Choosing to ignore the current doubts swirling in his mind, the prince engaged in blithe banter with you. His heart soared as he heard your laugh echo in his ears. A small blush appeared on his face as you brought a gloved hand over to your mouth to cover your smile. Gods, how he wanted to reassure you that your smile was the most radiant thing he had ever witnessed.

But he didn’t. He never did.

Days passed. Months passed. Eventually, years passed, three to be exact, and his feelings for you were one of his best kept secrets. Every day he would be with you, and every day he would hide his true feelings. Would it be considered a lie if he hid something this important from you?

During your stay in Askr, you seemed to find solace in the blue haired prince -- his peaceful demeanor made you feel right at home despite your current situation. You were always around him, and you made sure to sit next to him during the dinners in the mess hall. To you, it seemed like you had grown fond of the prince as well, but you never told him.

Every moment that you felt the urge to confess, you would swallow it down, constantly reminding yourself that a prince such as him would never find you worthwhile. His job, as prince, is to assist his chief tactician, so his apparent affection towards you is nothing but him being polite. You believed your own lies, drowning in self-doubt and eventually giving up on the whole idea of you two being an item.

It hurt you. It felt like daggers were slowly puncturing its way into your heart as pieces of it shattered. All that was left was a hollow feeling and a newfound jaded belief of love. Love did not exist, or rather, you did not deserve to be loved. You allowed yourself to succumb to these beliefs as you fell into a quiet despair in your own mind.

As time passed, your view on love became corrupt. It was a cruel reminder that no one would ever love you. Three years had gone by, your stay in Askr had become permanent -- you thought anyways. Your tired and glassy eyes scanned an ancient book, looking for any knowledge on how to go home.

The war had ended, and while you sent the heroes back home, it became painstakingly clear that you could not leave. Although both Sharena and Anna had assured you that you would always be welcomed in the castle, you still felt a hollow pain digging in your chest. As the seasons past, you knew you had to make a difficult decision.

You informed the trio that you would be leaving, travelling the world of Zenith to find another purpose in life. You knew they would be against it, but any attempts to persuade you did not affect your choice. Instead, you had told them that you were going to leave the following morning to avoid causing a ruckus.

As you spoke your thoughts to them, you were interrupted by someone slamming the table. Everyone turned to look at the source. Alfonse had hit his fist right onto the table, his face conveying nothing but anger and frustration.

“You cannot just leave like this! You should stay here! It’s safe! Whatever it is you are looking for, I’m sure you can find it here! With us!”

You stared at the prince, your dull eyes examining his tense posture. “Prince Alfonse,” you refer to him by his formal title, something you had been doing for months now. “I have been looking for that purpose for years now. I’ve read every book in this library at this point -- I have found nothing. Therefore, I would like to search the world of Zenith. Maybe then I can figure out just what I am meant to do after the war. Goodnight.” You refuse to hear his pleas, and you exit the room without a word.

Sharena stands from her seat, running after you. “Kiran, please!” Her begging is also ignored as you continue walking down the hallways. You think you are safe, but you begin to hear boots crashing down onto the stone floor.

“Kiran!!” Alfonse calls, he sounds desperate as he looks at you. “Please. You must stay here -- I beg of you.” His arms fell to his side.

“Oh? And why would I do that if I no longer have a purpose here? Askr has no need for the great summoner if there is no threat of war.”

The prince pursed his lips. If you needed a reason to stay, perhaps he could be that reason. At this point, he could no longer contain the years of repressed feelings for you. This may not be the most thought-out confession, but it was a last resort to get you to stay. “I do not want you to leave. At least, not without knowing the truth.”

You merely raised a brow, curious as to what the prince had been hiding from you.

“When you first arrived, I warned you not to get attached to heroes. And… maybe you followed my advice. I, however, did not. You have shown me how foolish I was to think that I could live my entire life by shutting others out. During the war, you were a beacon of hope to everyone, especially to me. And… And because of that, I have grown to have more intimate feelings for you.” He looked at you with determined eyes as he continued to pour years’ worth of unexpressed feelings into only a few moments.

“Kiran. I… I love you. I have loved you for so many years! It was my own insecurities and fears that prevented me from confessing, but now that I am about to lose you, I could not go another day without telling you.” He offered a small smile. “So please, will you stay with me in Askr?”

You stared at him as you took in everything he said. After all this time, it turns out that the prince really did have feelings for you. Hesitantly, there is a part of you that wanted this, but you have been filled with so much cynicism, that you do not feel the same. Years ago, you may have rushed at his side without hesitation, but now, this means nothing to your tainted and broken heart.

“A long time ago… I would have said yes.” Your empty tone feels like stab to the prince’s own heart as his worst fears become a reality. “But now… now I’ve waited so long… I told myself to give up.”

“But Kiran I--!”

_“I waited for you. For three years, and you never came back. So I moved on.”_ Your voice rose with aggression, and you clenched your fists to cope with the burning anger inside you. Maybe you were not angry with the prince. Perhaps you were mad at yourself for giving up. Either way, your broken heart was unrepairable at this point -- its wounds too deep to heal.

Alfonse bit his lip, cursing himself for being such a fool. If he had only said this sooner, you may not have felt so upset. If only… He was at a loss for words, unable to answer to such a cold reply. He did speak, although in a quiet and quivering tone. “Very well. Then I believe this is goodbye.”

“Yes.” You felt an even larger dagger dig itself further into your already fragile heart. Something about this seemed wrong. “It is. Goodbye, Prince Alfonse.”

He watched your retreating figure disappear among the castle hallways, and that was the last he ever saw of you.

You left early in the morning, quick and unceremoniously, just like you had said. You disappeared and became merely a legend among the residents of Askr -- the only evidence of your stay at the castle was the bright bracelet wrapped around Alfonse’s wrist. He never once took it off.


End file.
